Mom’s At It Again

Hey It’s Jet Here.

I’m trying to practice understanding, really I am.  Of course, Scooby Doo Academy stresses good behavior.  Understanding remains as challenging as patience for a herding K9 like me.  Following Mom back and forth from the kitchen to the office to the kitchen to the garage freezer, to the kitchen to the car to the kitchen with these bag thingies, to the office, to the kitchen… you get the idea.

Mom shared with my human sister, Rachel, on Friday night that the next week will be something called insane.  She has four Kitchen Counselor classes, including one class where she will make smoothies for 500!  I scratched my ears to make sure I heard correctly.  500, Mom?  Yes Jetty, 500 people in 1 hour no less!  I will have two blenders going besides ours.  Phew, good to know Mom.  Hey Mom, is that the reason the machine which holds all of Ish’s delicious eggs looks like you cannot fit one more ounce of stuff in it?  Indeed.

Hey Mom, is that why JJ accompanied you to the outside freezer like 100 times?  Correct again.  Rachel did a fantastic job manipulating all of our personal items to fit everything in.  Did you listen to us giggle when chatting how we left the grocery store without any frozen fruit? Well almost no frozen fruit. 

Mom, why did you shop again today if you did all that last night?  Great question.  I have a class at University of Miami tomorrow and needed to purchase those ingredients today, since we did not have room last night because of the Farmers market ingredients.

Wow, no wonder we needed a nap this afternoon.  Hey Mom, one last question.  If the outside freezer and the inside freezer and the refrigerator cannot fit another thing, why can’t JJ and I help out?  We like fruit, yogurt, turkey, eggs, butter, veggies, etc… I know sweet boy, you two help so much, however, this food must feed others.  We’ll have special treats on Friday.  Ok, Mom… I guess…

Another great day… well actually night.

P.S. Mom, of the 45 bananas you purchased, ripened, peeled and froze tonight, would it have been too much to ask for a taste before you brought all 45 to Miss Mary Ann’s freezer?  Huh?

Fair and Square

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

Since Mom grew up as an only dog human, and my human sister, Rachel, is an only human, and for almost five years, my K9 sister, Koko, was an only K9, Mom had to learn about sharing time, love, and attention with multiple K9s when I joined the family.

Of course, she had a smidge of practice when she adopted my feline brothers, Puffy and Fluffy almost ten years ago, but… you know those felines are an independent sort.  I think Fluffy must have a K9 gene somewhere in his DNA because he talks to Mom incessantly (vocabulary builder) and hangs out with her/us a lot.

Anyway, Mom for the most part, from my perspective maintains a pretty fair balance with her time, love and attention now that JJ has joined the family.  Case in point:  you may have read my post about meeting Miss Eileen and the woman in the moving chair.  If not, catch up here.  Well, Miss Eileen loves K9s as much as Mom and had not yet met JJ.  On the day Mom wrote the post, she felt it was the perfect time to take JJ in the car to see Miss Eileen.

Mom called Miss Eileen and said she had a surprise for her and to please call her (Mom) when she arrived in the office.  (Miss Eileen moved to a new space right off the elevator, so, no place to stay out of sight!)  Miss Eileen said ok and followed Mom’s request.  Guess what?  JJ had the same reaction to the stairwell that I did!  After Mom did a Scooby Doo Academy strategic head poke out the stairwell door to make sure no humans were there, Miss Eileen was there and exclaimed, LORI, IS THIS JJ?  SHE’S BEAUTIFUL!  They hurried in the office and closed the door.  Miss Eileen did this thing called kvel (fawn over) and Mom took pictures.

From my perspective, Mom and JJ disappeared in the car together and left me HOME ALONE.  I thought about making mischief as payback a response, however, as the good K9 I am, I took a nap. They returned after what felt like an eternity and acted like nothing happened.  I knew better, because of the new smells on JJ.  HMPH.

Three days later, according to Mom’s calendar, (we K9s can’t relate to time passage), Mom put my harness on and scooched me out the door, into the car, put the windows down and said, “Jetty, today is your day for alone time with me.”  We visited the Farmers Market and our friends Miss Amanda and young Mr. Will!

Another great, fair and square day!

Palm Ponderings

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

For my Spring Semester Scooby Doo Academy Psychology class, we must run experiments.  After one of our morning constitutionals last week, Mom pointed out a possible opportunity.  Living in South Florida, lots of governmental humans feel the urge to plant rows of palm trees on major roads to increase the “elegant” factor.  I’m certainly not complaining; they provide wonderful sniffing and emptying the tank locations.  One certain side effect for the homeowners; palm fronds routinely falling and blocking sidewalk and driveway access.

The scent of a downed palm frond always catches my attention.  I must smell the whole frond, no matter which section I encounter first.  Some fronds measure 6-8 feet which gives Mom and JJ time to practice their patience skills.

When we confronted one such frond placed like the middle stick of a capital H on the sidewalk, here’s what happened: (broken down for scientific research purposes…)

  • I stopped just shy of the frond, causing Mom and JJ to break their forward momentum, unexpectedly.
  • JJ and Mom looked around admiring the morning while I began my sniffing circuit.
  • After deciding the frond contained satisfying, yet not outstanding scents, I intuitively placed two paws in front of the frond and two paws behind it lining up the frond’s center directly under my belly.
  • You know where this is going, right?  Yup, gave it a thorough “Jet was Here” tank emptying!
  • You know what JJ did? Nothing, she daintily skirted the frond around its left edge and moved along.
  • You know what Mom did?  Nothing, she daintily leapfrogged over the frond.

Initial Conclusion:  Men are still from Mars and Women are still from Venus!

Another great psychological day.

The Hey, It’s Jet Here Poll

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

I, Jet, student of politics at Scooby Doo Academy, selected taking a poll for my class project.  When I watch the news most mornings after my breakfast, waiting for Mom to hurry up and eat hers, those humans on TV mention lots of polls.  They use words like: Gallup, CNN,NYT,USAToday, ABC, CBS Tribune/WGN TV etc… so I figured, why not add a Hey, It’s Jet Here poll?

Lately, the political tracking of the Republican candidates hogs TV coverage week after week.  You humans take polls before the voting, during the voting, after the voting, don’t you guys get tired?  To maintain my integrity, I will remind you that I previously and continue to endorse Boozer for president.

I decided to track poles themselves with the following criteria:

  • How many poles exist on my weekend morning route? (Other routes will be added in the future.)
  • What type of pole is it?
  • What material did the humans use in construction?

I present to you… the results:

  • 19 poles in total.
  • 15 telephone poles, 4 traffic light poles.
  • 15 wooden poles, 4 metal poles.

Uh Jet?  Yes Mom.  Little problem.  What’s the problem Mom?  Polls and Poles are totally different.  Polls record opinions or votes whereas poles are  long, slender, rounded pieces of wood or metal with one end usually in the ground.  Poles support other items like wires, electrical circuitry, or tents.

Hmpf.  Mooommm, I know that, I wanted to see if you were paying attention!  Really Jet?  If you say so… 

Another great day of tabulations.

Kitchen K9s at Sunrise

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

Oh, what a great week to be Mom’s Kitchen K9s.  First we had Prep Day and today Mom awoke poised and ready to cook and prep for herself.  By 5:30 a.m.:

  • Turkey burgers hit the Forman,
  • An array of veggies lined the counter,
  • Five bowls arced around her bamboo cutting board,
  • Her favorite knife and peeler rested on the board,
  • Three tiny Tupperware and 2 metal prep bowls arranged like soldiers flanked the spice area, and
  • The cabinet holding our garbage/recycling cans slid open a few inches ready to receive items before the garbage pickup at 9:00.

JJ continued her Sous Chef course, jumping up on the counter to learn how to: peel carrots and cucumbers, wash peppers, cherry tomatoes and lettuce (from Miss Mary Ann’s garden by the way), season ground turkey (today Mom combined salt free poultry and Mediterranean seasonings) and make salad dressing.  I have to check her Scooby Doo Academy schedule; seems like she’s working towards a home economics degree.

As mentioned Tuesday, JJ and I revel in our QC (quality control) responsibilities.  We confirmed that the carrots, celery, radishes, red peppers, (we refrain from lettuce, and can’t have scallions) and cucumbers passed muster.  Our daily 6:00 a.m. belly alarms quietly sounded, however, we gladly turned them off, enjoying tidbits until Mom had time to pause and serve us breakfast.

By 6:24 a.m. the eight turkey burgers looked like a pancake tower in a container, four of the five salads lined one shelf in the fridge, (one stayed out for Mom’s breakfast,) four of the five dressings stored on the door shelf ready for grabbing (one stayed out for Mom’s breakfast,) and the drip tray from the burgers, hey… where did it go?  Sometimes, I jump up and find a way to either lick it or tip it over onto the floor.  JJ showed promise last week by directly jumping up and pawing it over onto the floor.  Today, Mom made the tray disappear.  Little did we know…

She intended to let it cool down and use it as a surprise gravy on our kibble.  Gotta love Mom.  She scooped our kibble the normal way and then brought our bowls out to the kitchen where she would normally top JJ’s dish with gently warmed chicken stock.  Instead, she lovingly spooned the drip pan goodness onto BOTH our food bowls.  Scrumptious I say, Scrumptious.  Gotta make sure Mom does that again.

Another scrumptious (can’t say this enough) day.

Bucket City

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

If you happen to read Miss Wendy’s comment from yesterday, you’ll note that we had booms, streaky lights and rain on Monday/Monday Night/Tuesday.  Miss Wendy, my bff pen pal, rescued her golden girl, Cassie, from GRSF, the same group that saved me from … too difficult to say.  Turns out, Cassie and I share a lot of behaviors in common.  I wish we could play and visit all the time, however, we live about 45 minutes apart.  Anyway, poor Cassie (and poor Miss Wendy) could not rest a wink due to the weather.  I experienced similar discomfort; I finally settled in one of my safe spots under Mom’s vanity.

I really try to keep an open mind about storms.  My favorite lemongrass bush looks like Cousin It from the Addams Family, flopped over and limpid.  Mom reminded me that we really needed the rain.

This next part of the post, well, Mom suggested, urged, forced me to share.  When the weather scares me, I feel this thing called anxiety. Scooby Doo Academy recommends keeping a journal for personal growth.  Dude, I’m all about studying, learning, growing, self-improvement…but journaling my feelings?  I’m a GUY… the whole dudes from Mars/Ladies from Venus thing…  Jet?  Yes Mom.  If you think about it, your blog is your journal.  Yeah?  Oh YEAH, wow, I’m evolved!  Yes Jetty, you are, so finish about you know what.  Yes Mom.

So, when weather anxiety occupies my body and Mom’s not home, an invisible pull with the strength of a super magnet, draws me nose first to the cat litter box.  I can’t help myself, I can’t even express the details, let’s just say you know I’ve visited because litter sticks to the wet part of my nose.

Mom and Auntie Angela tried various strategies over the years to prevent my visits:

  • Turn the box around.
  • Block it with old Cat litter buckets;
  • Add laundry liquid containers to the barrier;
  • Add Oxiclean box to buckets;
  • Add Costco-sized vinegar containers to buckets,
  • Put heavy, then heavier items in buckets,
  • Finally… PUT UP A FENCE!

And yet… last night, when Mom returned home and went to kiss my face, there it was, the evidence stuck to my nose.

Another sort of great day.

She’s Got the Symptoms

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

As I learn more and more about JJ’s personality for my Scooby Doo Academy independent study course, I’ve noted the following symptoms unfolding:

  • She enjoys her pink accessories – leash, collar, and now scoop the poop holder and bags.
  • She appreciated the invitation (well, invitation is a teensy stretch), participating in wardrobe selection with my human sister, Rachel.
  • She CONSTANTLY jumps up to the counter, (in K9 terms – counter surfs) when:
    • Mom’s cooking.
    • Mom’s washing dishes.
    • Mom’s feeding the felines and K9s.
    • Mom’s doing the laundry.
    • Mom’s taking care of personal grooming tasks.
    • Mom’s reviewing a knitting item.
  • She hangs out with Rachel when she watches What Not to Wear, Toddlers and Tiaras, Dance Moms and other similar shows which Mom and I try to escape.

Add to the list, yesterday morning’s occurrence.  Mom, JJ and I took our usual weekend morning walking route.  Towards the end, we must cross a major intersection.  We practice listening to Mom’s “Wait (I count to 10) … Ok” command as we cross from east to west and again as we cross north to south at the traffic light.  While waiting for the second cross, JJ grabbed a dark item out of a littered food container.  Speedy Mom dropped the scoop bags and pried her mouth open and retrieved the item before JJ could close her jaws for the second time.

I heard an “Ewww” and saw Mom toss the item and then wipe dark goo off her hands on the dewy grass.  Mom gave JJ a “Naughty” synchronized with a two finger swat to the muzzle.  Can you guess what the item was?  Here’s a clue:

Aside from chocolate topping the dangerous for K9 list, this proved my prior observations…

SHE’S A GIRLY GIRLJet?  Yes Mom?  Making generalizations about a being does not allow the fullness for who they are.  While JJ indeed possesses many traditional feminine qualities, she also loves to wrestle, play, fetch & retrieve, carry items, chew, and other traditional masculine traits.  Remember, you do not like when some humans think you’re just one thing (scary – because of your coloring and size), right?  Also, you have quite the gentle side and we still consider you quite the manly man.  Wow, Mom, you opened my eyes, you’re right.  Ok, I’ll amend my observation, how’s this?  JJ balances her character with equal parts girly girl and masculine traits making her a great sibling.  I LOVE it Jetty, A+!

Another great observational day.

It’s Like a Regular Zoo Around Here

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

Since I had so much to share about the GRSF Reunion the last few days, you don’t know that I solved the BOOM, BOOM, BOOM mysteryJet, who solved the mystery? Ok, Freddy’s Dad filled in the missing pieces when you asked him Sunday at the Farmers Market.  Then… Then you told me after work and I marked it down for my Scooby Doo Academy Coursework.  Good Boy, Jetty, now you can go on with the story.

As I was saying, Mr. Richard told Mom the house behind Vance and Vilda’s house have this thing called a transformer which blew up.  The power company people said that either possums or rats (ewwwww) got into the transformer and… details not fit for reading.

Dixie’s Mom reported seeing several rats on the power lines across the street from her house on Sunday.  (ewwwww)  She screamed. Completely  understandable.  I, Jet, the Bird Dog (or part bird dog from my retriever heritage) spotted three fat birds on the wire parallel to our side yard this morning.  I monitored their conversation carefully before going inside for a nap.

JJ, our creative girl, has recently expanded her animal mimicry skills.  She imitates a gazelle, deer, ibex, antelope (take your pick from that type of creature) when Mom walks down the hall on her way to take us outside.  Her graceful full body leaps really show off previous ballet classes.  Excuse the situation, however, JJ takes a perfect kangaroo posture when doing her solid business.  She can trot like a Budweiser Clydesdale, too.  When we wrestle, Mom says we look like young bucks seeing who will lead the herd.  Finally, when she grips her chewies and shakes her head with reckless abandon, you know she’s watched Jaws a few too many times.

Considering this is dry season, imagine what the rainy season will bring: snakes, frogs, iguanas etc…  Who needs Metrozoo?

Another great creature filled day.

“Paw”dies for Miss Wet Paws

Hey, It’s Jet Here. 

Continuing my Scooby Doo Academy Powers of Observation class has turned up another interesting mystery about JJ; her paws always seem to be wet.  Mom and my human sister, Rachel noticed this fact, too, and began to watch her habits more closely, as did I.  Our sequential theories: 

JJ stepped in “accidents” we did not know about in the house. Not true.  We scoured house, no wet spots found. When JJ does have an occasional accident, she does so in the same location. 

JJ’s paws stay wet abnormally long after walking outside in wet grass. Partially true; we collected evidence and determined that her paws remained wet for the same duration as mine. 

JJ drinks sloppily out of the water dish and then steps in the water on the floor. True; we believe this accounts for part of JJ’s constant “wet paw” condition. 

JJ has a “thing” about cleaning her paws. Ding, ding, ding, – we have a winner!  We carefully made observations and showed each other her frequent attention to her paws.  When she puts her back paws fully in her mouth, one at a time of course, she tends to lose her balance and either roll off the bed or into some humorous position.   

Last night, when we cuddled in bed with Mom to go to sleep, JJ’s paws perfectly aligned with my face.  I decided to give her a treat, a Jetty “Pawticure.”  I cleaned her paws meticulously to save her the trouble.  Mom’s eyes focused on her book, glancing subtly to see my technique yet not disturb the process.  Miss Wiggle Girl actually stayed put for the whole treatment.  When finished, we both fell quietly asleep, which Mom found charming.  

Another great day.  

Punctuality

Hey, It’s Jet Here. 

Generally, we place a high priority on punctuality.  Mom learned from her Dad to arrive fifteen minutes early not fifteen minutes late.  Arriving what’s called, “fashionably late” to a party is this thing called an “exception to the rule.”   When you live in Miami like we do, when attending an event, you must ask whether the start time is “Cuban time” (sometimes referred to as Latin time) or American time.  The interpretation of Cuban time: arrive anywhere from ½ hour to 2 hours late and think nothing about it.  This occurrence takes getting used to.  Mom’s had food get cold and wonder if her party flopped when all of a sudden the doorbell began to chime.  

As part of Scooby Doo Academy’s etiquette classes, I practice punctuality too.  A true gentleman never makes a lady wait.  I continue to wake Mom at LEAST fifteen minutes (usually more like 30-45 minutes) before our breakfast time.  We make sure that we build in extra time for traffic when visiting Dr. Schaffer.  We leave our house with plenty of minutes to spare when meeting our pack.  

Then why have we posted late two days in a row??? I’ll tell you why… THE MACHINE THAT I REST/SLEEP/DICTATE BESIDE.  I know you have read about Mom’s computer issues.  Well, her newsletter took 2 ½ hours longer than usual because of all that technical stuff.  Mom even left the room a few times.  (I think I saw smoke coming out of her ears!)  On top of the computer stuff, Mom has a REALLY long schedule on Tuesdays, so, if she can’t post before work, she can only post about this time of day, after she: walks us, gives us treats, cleans up cat v___t, feeds my human sister, etc…  

Can I tell you something funny?  In her newsletter today, she included a little prayer to vanquish these things called poltergeists/hobgoblins and other mean creatures from her machine.  For her sake, I hope it works.  Thanks Jetty, you have such a kind heart.  Aw, Mom. 

Another great day night.