K9 Math

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

Guess what?  Scooby Doo Academy likes math and science as much as Mom and I do.  I’m doing my first K9 math/science class assignment about equations.  They asked for an example of an equation that I have experienced.  I discussed my options with Mom and then last night, the perfect situation presented itself.  Here’s what I will hand in:


Plus, no rain, thunder or

EQUALS  Mom’s email is goofy again, so, we could not use her real red boots with moose on them.  Also, Mom spent lots of time toweling me off, so, no personal pics of my muddy paws.

Another great, splashy, muddy night!

Our Friend David

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

Yesterday, only Mom visited our friend David.  David and I became pals about two years ago, when he and our other Think Factory friend, Ritchie, hung around the Kitchen Table developing Mom’s Kitchen Counselor business.  David gave me lots of attention, shared carrots with me and told me manly man stuff.

He showed Mom how to take a picture of me and put it on her computer as this thing called the background or wallpaper, I do not remember which, so she can look at me whenever she wants.  In fact, the picture of me resting above is on her computer right now.

Mom told me that David did this thing called getting engaged recently.  Woof, Woof from me to you!  We cannot wait to meet Brenda, his fiancé, and Maggie, his special K-9.  I’ve seen Maggie’s picture, she’s so beautiful, could be a double ceremony….

David lent a K-9 book to Mom called Could You Love Me Like My Dog?  Mom read it while I cuddled beside her before work this morning.  Good book, little one-liners with lots of meaning, according to Mom referencing K-9s, like Maggie and ME…

Thanks for sharing David, I miss you, man.

Another great day.

On Being a Gentleman

Sure, Scooby Doo Academy gives classes to improve my detecting skills, but did you know they also encourage enrollment in etiquette classes?  Yup, I’m doing an Independent Study “On Being a Gentleman.”  I have to collect data to present and Mom graciously agreed to type my submission.  Here’s what I have so far.

  1. Mom places Mary Ann’s morning newspaper on her pillar so she doesn’t have to walk down the driveway each morning per my instructions.             
  2. When we go for a pack walk, I sit gentlemanly-like on Dixie’s and/or Neve’s front stoop.
  3. I play nicely with other K-9s (if they have good attitudes).
  4. I ask Mom to scoop the poop, to show we’re good neighbors.
  5. I sit down and stay quiet as Mom requests before scarfing down my meals.
  6. When Giovanni puts the window down in his car,  I carefully place my two front paws so as not to scratch anything so we can exchange manly man conversation.
  7. I offer either or both paws to humans who ask.  (I’m ambidextrous.)
  8. I do not pass “wind” like some K-9s (ahem, my sister, Koko, even though I would take her f_rting (see, too gentlemanly to write the word) any day if it meant she was still alive.)
  9. I help Mom clean the walls.  (See Spa Day)
  10. At the dog park, I’m friendly to all… Mom calls me the “Mayor”.
  11. I politely wish Patches a good night when passing her fence.  (See Patches).
  12. I wait for a human invitation to enter Dixie or Neve or Samson’s backyards.  
  13. I lift my left front paw gently to help Mom harness me up for my walks.
  14. I rarely snore, unlike some K-9s (like my sister, Koko, even though I would take her snoring any day if it meant she was still alive.)
  15. I help Mom clean the dishes in the dishwasher, particularly the thing she calls the George Forman fat tray.

Oh, I will have to politely (see another gentlemanly thing) request that Mom email this list to the academy; it’s longer than I expected.  I’m quite the gentleman if I don’t say so myself!  I should definitely earn the coveted “S” (Scooby Spectacular) for the first submission of my Independent Study!

Another great and gentlemanly day!

Mom’s a Telephone Hog

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

Yesterday, I mentioned Mom’s Do-hickie thing she uses sometimes when talking on the telephone.  Well, I forgot to mention, she’s a telephone hog!  She rarely lets ME speak to people on the phone.  Most of the time, I let it slide.  However, she really must learn to share, especially when certain people are on the line.

For example, I love Rachel’s Godmother, who we call Madrina.  I have a 6th sense when she’s on the phone.  At first, I politely yipp.  Usually, Mom keeps talking.  Naturally, I bark more seriously, to get my point across.  Next, I do my whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, sounds and if absolutely necessary, give it my deepest sustained combination “you’re not getting this are you?” bark.

If I’m lucky, Mom will put Madrina on speaker and I woof into the microphone and Madrina talks to me.  Oh, I’m a good listener, too.  I perk up my ears to ensure I hear every word.  Mostly, Mom takes me by the collar and does that distracting stuff.  Distracting stuff may include:

  • That Cesar Millan guy’s tch sound – like that’s going to change my mind.
  • Petting me – I let her get away with that for a while, why not?
  • Offering me a toy or chewy – does she really think I’m that easy? Ok, sometimes I am that easy.
  • Ignoring me – silly, silly Mom…

Tonight, I befuddled Mom.  While she spoke with Madrina, I practiced all methods listed above.  In the middle of her chat, she took a call from my human sister’s doctor.  I did not bark once during their conversation.  When Mom resumed her call with Madrina, I resumed above listed methods of communication.  Mom and Madrina wanted to know how I knew the difference.  Yes Jet, I really do want to know, I’m truly puzzled.  Mom, can’t give away all the trade secrets you know, K-9 code.

Another great day.

What About Me?

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

I’m a little sad this morning.  Here’s why.  You know that we, of the K-9 persuasion have really good hearing.  So, last night, Mom spoke with my Auntie Liz for a long time.  Sometimes, Mom uses this Do-hickie thing on her head so she can talk and have her hands free to do stuff like: feed me, pet me, brush me, walk me … oh and wash the dishes, cook, or work on the computer.  Other times, I hear voices in the room when I only see Mom because she uses this button called speaker.

Anyway, Mom went on and on with Auntie Liz about this stuff called Art Basel, Art Miami, Pulse, Scope, Art this, Art that, etc.

She said that Grandpa generously gave her something called VIP passes because he’s unexpectedly traveling to someplace far away called China.  I could tell from her voice that she has happy feelings about this stuff.  For five days, really soon, looks like Mom will virtually disappear from our house.  She blocked off all kinds of time in something called a calendar to go all over Miami to see art.

Now, I totally understand when Mom leaves me to: earn biscuit money, buy stuff to make our house comfortable, buy food which she shares with me or to take my human sister places.  But, this doesn’t sound good… I heard Auntie Liz ask, “Can Jet have a few sleepovers at someone’s house?”  Mom had the good sense to say, NO, however, she did say she would have to figure out how to cover her time away.  Away?  Hey Mom, I like art, I’m a connoisseur of the finer things.  Don’t I like gourmet food – YES!  Don’t I like beautiful scents like fine shampoo – YES!  Don’t I enjoy mingling with people – YES!  What about me, Mom… WHAT ABOUT ME???

Jetty, Jetty, Jetty, I’m sorry you feel left out.  Unfortunately, the people in charge of Art Basel and the other art events did not have the foresight to permit K-9s to attend.  I promise you will remain on your schedule, have lots of attention from people you love, including me in the morning and at night.  You know how you like to go on car trips to the park?  Well, I like to visit with friends and participate in fun things, too.  Sharing time with friends and having fun enriches our lives which I know I want for you and I know you want for me.  Well, since you put it that way, Mom, I guess I understand.  I’ll even wag my tail a lot when you come home.

Another great and understanding day.

Jet One, Peacock Zero or Tail Talk Pt. 2

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

Now that you understand Tail Talk, Mom thought you would get a kick out of this story.  On weekends and national holidays, Mom takes/took Koko and me on a different morning walking route.  Let’s call it “crossing 112” because we bisect SW 112 ST, a busy, exciting road normally filled with lots of whizzing cars.  I like this way because I find so many new spots to empty my tank and let everyone know… Hey, Jet Was Here!  I digress.

The house on the corner with two nosy, “think they know it all, jumping bean, big dogs” was a favorite “business” spot for Koko.  I always empty my tank a little just to show them who’s boss.   The abode which sits catty-corner with the canal in the backyard houses a snippy, barky dog, which has no sense of humor when we pass by.  Again… I digress.

Jet, I think I better help you out a little here.  At times, when walking Jet and Koko, I looked like a crazed ballerina turning, bending, and crossing body parts and leashes to avoid entanglements.  One Sunday morning around 6:15 a.m., I detangled in between the corner house and the catty corner house Jet mentioned above.  Next thing I knew, Jet stood stock still with the stretch and ‘cue tail for what felt like a few minutes. 

As my gaze followed his body from tail to nose, standing on snippy dog’s lawn was a Peacock, with tail feathers in full fan mode.  Mom, I got it from here.  My tail curled to full ‘cue mode and I barked like a crazy boy.  Mom wasn’t sure whether I wanted to chase (yes), dominate (yes) or flee (no way, Jose!).

That avian showoff, tried to run away, however, that fan tail impeded his efforts.  He quickly folded that fan …Mr. “I’m the most handsome creature on the block” and high-tailed it toward the canal.

Whose tail reigned supreme?  Next thing I heard, Mom laughing and saying this utterance thing you will understand, Jet One, Peacock Zero!

Another great day.

Mom Messed Up

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

Yesterday, for the first time, Mom disappointed me.  I’ll chalk it up to an honest oversight, because I know how much she loved my sister and how much she loves me.  In fact, from what I’ve observed, she loves all K-9s.  Here’s what happened.

We had our usual great day, as you read in my Spa Day post.  We took an extra long nap, a nice walk, Mom brushed me while I dozed in the evening, you get the picture.  She did this TIVO thing for one of her favorite shows, NOT ON ANIMAL PLANET (not that I’m judging her), called Extreme Makeover Home Edition.  They asked humans to call in to support the humans who serve (d) our great country.  She went on line instead to this Rise and Honor place and gave as much money as she could.  So far, so good.  Except… that was IT.

Now Mom knows better.  She and my sister, Koko, were a therapy dog

team with Therapy Dogs, Inc. for 4 ½ years at Miami Children’s Hospital and 1 year at S. Miami Hospital.  She knows about Canine Good Citizen and Therapy Dogs International.  So many of my fellow K-9s serve humans in the military as well as after the humans come home.

Yesterday, on 11/11/11, our post should have focused on my K-9 brethren that help active duty military personnel and returning veterans.  Over twenty-eight groups help veterans and always need more funding.  (We eat a lot of food learning how to help you know.)  Mom’s including a link so you can read about many groups and how they help.   Mom told me that CNN published an article and Hallmark (again… NOT ANIMAL PLANET, just saying…) had a program on last night honoring military K-9s.   If you have a little extra biscuit money, please consider helping those groups, too.

Jet, I deeply apologize for my error.  You bring such an important subject to light, thank you.  I certainly did not mean to overlook your brethren and their incredible accomplishments and contributions to our active military and our veterans.  I honor their service with equal measure and will donate an equal amount to a group you and I select together.   I accept your apology Mom.

Another great and conflict resolved day.

Spa Day

Hey, It’s Jet Here…

Unlike my sister, Koko, Spa Day does not bring the zen feeling of bliss into my world.  When I joined the family, Mom could not brush the back half of me;  can’t share details, too painful.  After a few attempts, I found a brush (at Marshall’s) that Jet tolerated, made by Paul Mitchell for Pets.  The comb slid into the body of the brush, which allowed for quick brush cleaning, since you know who sheds more than Koko ever did.  Recently, I found another brush Jet likes for a first go round, and then I use a flea comb.  Mom listens to this noise called NPR while she brushes us me from nose to tail before my spa treatment, since I do not like to get combed wet like Koko used to.

Since I have chemical sensitivities, safe shampoo matters.  Koko and I enjoyed Buddy Wash Lavender I purchased Buddy Wash Green Tea and Rosemary for Jet.  Ahem, Mom, my blog, remember?  Like a gentleman, I always let Koko go first, laying down as close to the shower door hoping Mom would forget I existed.  No luck.  Somehow, delectable treats appear when Spa Day rolls around.  Mom sets our my special towels out, removes our my collar and in I go.  As soon as I sit down in the shower, my first yummy treat passes from her hand to my mouth!

Mom sits on the floor with the shampoo bottle, wets me down, I shake as hard as I can and the spa treatment begins.  I trot around the small perimeter of the shower, making sure Mom gets her flexibility training in for the day.  The hose and I … well, we’re not the best of friends, even though the setting says gentle spray.  Mom tells me how handsome and good smelling I am as she soaps my back first, then each leg, then my belly, then my tail, and last and hoping she forgets, my head, ears, chin and neck.  Even though I try to distract her by shaking, each time the shake feeling happens, she tells me I’m a good boy.  She even shampoos my collar, which she calls my necklace.  After shampooing and rinsing, those tasty treats appear in her hand again.

No matter how many times I tell her toweling is unnecessary, she insists.  I prefer to dry off by combining three techniques: shaking, strategically leaning in so that each side rubs all the available wall space in the house and finally air drying for four hours (nap included).  Environmentally friendly, right?  11-20-11 Mom found great pictures of more pups and a deer? who know how to shake dry, too.

Another great and handsomely clean day.

Tail Talk – Pt. 1

Hey, It’s Jet Here.

We K-9s do not always use our voices to communicate, we use body language too.  Case in point – our tails.  My sister, Koko, was a wagging professional.  She wagged at the door before Mom even entered the house (show off!), she wagged at Dr. Shaffer’s office (show off again), she probably wagged in her sleep she was so doggone happy.

I have several tail positions.

  • There’s the perfect curlicue.  I use this when I want to show Patches (prior post) what a catch I am.  The ‘cue tail also works when I’m alert to new noises, an approaching something or other or want to show how big and tall I can be.

  • There’s the sideways question mark.  The art of crooking my tail just so to create the “curious and comfortable-in-my-paws” position which took lots of practice I tell ya.
  • There’s the stretch and ‘cue.  My tail straightens out as I listen or see something that catches my attention.  Next, after determining the safety level, I ‘cue it up to let the world know that… Hey, It’s Jet Here.  Example:  This morning, I discovered that the human time change thing (see prior post) may not bode poorly after all.  You see, with the extra light, I can identify more squirrels on the telephone wires.  They know about my chasing prowess, they’ve heard the rumors, they know they can’t (Uh, excuse me Jet, I’d tone down the bravado, since, those squirrels outfox you time after time…no offense)  Mom, that’s because you do not let me run free to bark and jump on the trees making them shiver in fear all the way down to their little teeny claws.  Ok, Jet, if you say so…
  • There’s the cozy tuck.  You know the head dog in the sky designed us K-9s well when we use this one.  My tail wraps around my behind parts and tucks under my back paws perfectly to create a cozy position to rest and sleep.
  • There’s the downtrodden.  Before I met Mom, I employed this position often.  My tail slumped down between my back legs and hung there, sad and scared.  I would tell mom to delete this one except you should know about it in case you ever see one of my brethren in this state.  Please help them if you do, ok?
  • Finally, there’s the well known wag.  Several factors affect this position; speed, direction and feelings.  You can rev up or slow down the wag depending on what you want to convey.  I vary the direction of wagging by going side to side or in a circle.  When you walk, trot, or run the coordinating wag takes on different cadences as well.  My excited wag when Mom asks, “Jet, do you want to go out?” starts at the tip, and then quickly envelops my whole tail until I’m wagging like a madman.

Jet, I know you will conclude part 1 in a moment, if I may, I would like to comment on your wag.  After you lived with us for about six months, it dawned on me that you did not wag your tail much.  I realized you had suffered so greatly before, you may have forgotten how.  I never took/take your wag for granted.  You now wag like your sister used to, which lets me know you trust us and can freely and joyfully enjoy your days.  Your wagging makes my lips turn up at the edges – that means we’re both happy.  Wow Mom, I didn’t know all that, thanks for sharing.

Ahem…Pay attention to our tails, humans; you will learn a lot!

I Passed My Mouse Quiz

Yup, sure did, and it was a Pop Quiz at that.  My score will surely impress Scooby Doo Academy. Here’s how the quiz went down.

Last night, Mom and I sat on Maryann’s stoop waiting for the girls to get gussied up for our walk.  As Mom chatted with Aunt Liz by phone, I let out a low hum of a growl.  Mom kind of ignored me.  Jet, I thought you were trying to get Aunt Liz’s attention.  No Mom, I sensed an intruder.  Sure enough, within seconds Mom and I watched a cute little brown? dark grey? black? mouse scurry across the white rocks in Mary Ann’s little front garden area.  (I’m color blind and the twilight sky prevented Mom from correctly color coding the little critter.)

Mom told Mary Ann and I told Dixie as soon as they exited the front door.  Mary Ann asked detailed questions like:

MA:  Are you sure it wasn’t a rat?

ME:  Yes, too small.

MA:  Where exactly did you see it?

ME:  Crossing the white concrete pillar fence, then scurrying across the white rocks, then lost suspect as it continued moving north parallel to your bay window.

MA:  Why didn’t you take the mouse away?

ME:  On your behalf, I explained that you excel in herding because of your border collie nature, more than the retrieving part of you.   Thanks Mom.

Mary Ann understood and called her Dad, Mr. Jim, and told him to put it on this thing called a “To Do” list.

I’ll tell you about other Quizzes I passed regarding squirrels, iguanas which looked like platypuses, birds (large and small) and a peacock later…  I’m basking in the glow of educational excellence!