Sure, Scooby Doo Academy gives classes to improve my detecting skills, but did you know they also encourage enrollment in etiquette classes? Yup, I’m doing an Independent Study “On Being a Gentleman.” I have to collect data to present and Mom graciously agreed to type my submission. Here’s what I have so far.
Mom places Mary Ann’s morning newspaper on her pillar so she doesn’t have to walk down the driveway each morning per my instructions.
- When we go for a pack walk, I sit gentlemanly-like on Dixie’s and/or Neve’s front stoop.
- I play nicely with other K-9s (if they have good attitudes).
- I ask Mom to scoop the poop, to show we’re good neighbors.
- I sit down and stay quiet as Mom requests before scarfing down my meals.
- When Giovanni puts the window down in his car, I carefully place my two front paws so as not to scratch anything so we can exchange manly man conversation.
- I offer either or both paws to humans who ask. (I’m ambidextrous.)
- I do not pass “wind” like some K-9s (ahem, my sister, Koko, even though I would take her f_rting (see, too gentlemanly to write the word) any day if it meant she was still alive.)
- I help Mom clean the walls. (See Spa Day)
- At the dog park, I’m friendly to all… Mom calls me the “Mayor”.
- I politely wish Patches a good night when passing her fence. (See Patches).
- I wait for a human invitation to enter Dixie or Neve or Samson’s backyards.
- I lift my left front paw gently to help Mom harness me up for my walks.
- I rarely snore, unlike some K-9s (like my sister, Koko, even though I would take her snoring any day if it meant she was still alive.)
- I help Mom clean the dishes in the dishwasher, particularly the thing she calls the George Forman fat tray.
Oh, I will have to politely (see another gentlemanly thing) request that Mom email this list to the academy; it’s longer than I expected. I’m quite the gentleman if I don’t say so myself! I should definitely earn the coveted “S” (Scooby Spectacular) for the first submission of my Independent Study!
Another great and gentlemanly day!